We are all aware of the mid-season ratings ploy: shows scramble to keep viewers entertained with the season’s big moment. Remember Heroes’ “Save the Cheerleader, Save the World” slogan? It had millions of viewers on the edge of their couches.
No show on the air right now owns the mid-season ratings boost like CW’s juicy soap, Gossip Girl. Let’s face it. Nothing sells like rich teens frolicking around New York City in designer fashions, backstabbing and sleeping with each other—sometimes simultaneously.
Known for its racy marketing ploys and even racier topics, Gossip Girl outdid itself this season with my personal favorite: The Threesome. But, those tuning in to see some highly suggestive, heavy petting were sorely disappointed.
Getting as steamy as hot water, the threesome and its flashbacks only went as far as to show two girls kissing, occasionally interrupted by sexy—or confused—looks at each other. Ad campaigns promised on-screen chemistry, but this trio appeared as if they couldn’t wait for it to be over.
And, despite the forward shot kiss between guest star Hilary Duff and Jessica Szohr, the entire exchange felt too awkward to be sexy. Lacking even the idea of lust, the actors fumbled around with each other like virgins—for once. Maybe, one might argue, the powers that be were capturing awkward first times. I might agree if this were 90210, where awkward is practically a requirement, but GG fans tune in for cat-fights, fashion, and sex, not scenes reminiscent of their own first-times.
Viewers tuned in for a ménage-trois and left with a ménage-not.
This is what the Parents Television Council was fuming over? Let’s face it: people, including teens, have sex. Some lucky few even manage a threesome. And, yes, maaaaybeee one susceptible teen might go out and seek one. But, apparently the PTC thinks threesomes happen all the time. Threesomes are HARD. Finding two other people that are sexually attracted to each other and you is a challenge in itself. Add navigating the potential disaster of a 2-1 sexual shut out, psychological pitfalls such as comparisons, and the all too real threat of mid-coitus cramping, and you’ve got yourself a damn-near impossible task. If teens are exactly as they’ve been since Adam, getting even one mate is challenge enough (just look at how that turned out for him).
Pinning moral responsibility on a fictional show based relatively near reality is illogical. No television show will deny the existence of teen sex, nor cease to depict it. It is, however, the responsibility of creators, writers, and executives to depict this sex tastefully. GG, while lacking in passion, pulled off a perfectly decent attempt. Yes, GG skirted the line, but could not be accused of putting even a pinky toe in the realm of indecency. The PTC, in all their huffing and puffing, only succeeded in creating backlash publicity—handing over new viewers in the process.
What do you think? Are threesomes too sexy for network TV?
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